You Make The Call!

If you've been to a ball game in recent years, you've encountered this guy: that total douche yammering away on his cell phone, oblivious to the fact there's a game on, or others around him are remotely interested in watching it.

Finally, some come uppance:


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Oil Spill, Day 70 -- Obama Asks For Help

Days after BP's Deepwater Horizon oil rig exploded and began hemmoraghing thousands of barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, other countries offered assistance to deal with the spill. Until this day, day 70, after millions of barrels of crude have poisoned the Gulf, Team Obama has agreed to the helping hand.

The Dutch had offered massive oil skimming ships, the Saudis have supertankers that vacuum up oil from water, the Japanese have massive containment booms to spare -- all of which could have sped to the region to help combat the worst environmental disaster in American History.

Until today, Team Obama refused, hunkering behind a red tape maelstrom varying from EPA regulations to obscure union rules, and Coast Guard ship inspections that even sidelined Louisiana Republican Governor Bobby Jindal's jerry-rigged (and successful) oil-vacuuming barges.

On May 5th, State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley said the United States received 21 aid offers from 17 countries and four international groups, but Team Obama didn't capitalize on them. On May 19th, State Department spokesman Gordon Duguid told reporters, "We are keeping an eye on what supplies we do need. And as we see that our supplies are running low, it may be at that point in time to accept offers from particular governments."

Playing catch-up, 70 days and millions of gallons of oil later, The Obama Administration has just submitted a specialized equipment request from the European Union, and asking more than twenty countries for other gear.

The Obama Administration has yet to waive the Jones Act -- a protectionist measure meant to ensure that American Union members are the only ones working off our shores. Some critics say it's directly because of the Obama Administration's cozy relationship with unions and their mega-million dollar donations to his political campaign. For the record, President Bush temporarily waived the regulation in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

In fact, the only decisive action the Obama Adminstration took after the explosion -- aside from securing a $20 billion payment plan from BP -- was to immediately ban all U.S. offshore drilling, jeopardizing tens of thousands of American jobs, yet bolstering nearby foreign drilling efforts such as those underway by Brazil.

Thanks to Obama, U.S. taxpayers fronted Brazil's Petrobas corporation $2 billion to explore its oil potential. One of Petrobas' major backers? Wait for it: Obama donor/Bond villian George Soros, who's invested to the tune of $900 million.

And for the record, the science used to give Obama political cover for the drilling moratorium was deliberately falsified by Team Obama to provide political cover for the prohibition.

Kagan & Company, Day Two

For the second day, confirmation hearings for Barack Obama's Supreme Court Justice nominee Elena Kagan are underway, and once again Republican Senator Jeff Sessions (R-AL) hammered Kagan, a former dean of Harvard University's Law School and U.S. Solicitor General under President Obama with a long history of Liberal leanings. Sessions argued Kagan's personal politics led her to try to ban military recruiting from Harvard's hallowed halls.

For her part, Kagan admitted she thought "Don't Ask Don't Tell" discriminated against the university's gay and lesbian students, and that's what led her to enforce an eventually-overturned ban. She heaped praised on the military this morning, and suggested military recruiting actually increased during her tenure there. Sessions called her defense of the military and of her actions "not connected to reality".

Kagan has no judicial experience, and pledged her politics would be "kept separate" from her judgments on the highest court in the land if she were to be confirmed.

"Essential Killing" - A New Low For Filmmakers

Despite the courage and sacrifice of our men and women in uniform in Iraq and Afghanistan, Hollywood insists on churning out anti-U.S., anti-military films like Green Zone and Lions for Lambs. Not surprisingly, American moviegoers have stayed away. Hollywood's reaction is to conclude "nobody wants to see war movies" -- not willing to admit that post 9/11 movies like Black Hawk Down and Behind Enemy Lines -- in which our military is portrayed honorably (an anathema to LA LA land's Liberal mindset) -- were huge hits.

Enter Essential Killing. Granted not a major Hollywood production -- but don't be surprised if it's distributed by a major studio -- the film follows a heroic Taliban soldier on the run from his ruthless American pursuers in the mountains of Eastern Europe. Yes, you read that right. Vincent Gallo (once a Conservative and a member of the New York Young Republicans Club) plays Mohammad (what else), a footsoldier who escapes from American detention and goes on the lam.



No exact release date has been announced. Anyone want to guess how little this will make if this sees the light of day?

Taiwan's Apple TV Takes On Gore's Happy Ending Scandal

Leave it to the irony-free geniuses at Taiwan's Apple TV to turn to computer animation to portray allegations Al Gore's made unwanted sexual advances towards a Washington masseuse.

The news outlet that previously churned out hilariously creepy CG versions of events surrounding the Tiger Woods scandals here follows the masseuse's claims the profiteering prophet of Global Warming tried to force a hand-jo from her. Please do enjoy. My only complaint is "Gore" is way too thin:



The alleged sexual attack was apparently two years old -- and although police closed the case for lack of evidence, the incident was apparently covered up by every local paper at the time.

Obama -- Fly Guy

At the White House today, Obama spoke about the so-called Affordable Care act and the New Patient Bill of Rights. To me, the real story was AP snapping a pic of a huge-ass fly landing on his mouth.

I'm sorry, but he's never looked more Kenyan than in this pic.

I can make a joke that he looks like an extra in a "Feed The Children" commercial, or could remind readers what bull byproduct flies are drawn to, but that would be too easy, yeah?

U.S. General Flames "Unprepared" Obama

In a bombshell interview with Rolling Stone, General Stanley McChrystal, the man in charge of the U.S. war efforts in Afghanistan, has taken President Obama to task for the declining situation there. And it will likely cost the general his job.

The article explains McChrystal and Obama met during a meeting of senior military brass at the Pentagon shortly after Obama took office. Obama, longtime friend of '60s radicals like Bill Ayers, was said to look "uncomfortable and intimidated" by all the officers in the room. McChrystal, who was appointed by the president after General David McKiernan was given the sack, was said to be "disappointed" in an obviously "unprepared" Obama, who knew nothing about his new general despite decades of decorated service.

Personally, I never saw McChrystal as a good fit for a radical Leftist like Obama -- but the article explains that (for some reason) McChrystal voted for the obviously inexperienced, military-shy for Obama.

McChrystal's reputation as an all-around badass started from Vietnam where he was reported to have drank cobra venom to develop a tolerance for it, and through words and deeds quickly became known as one of the baddest mothertruckers in the military, a rep bolstered by years of mostly covert ops. A skilled tactician with an encyclopedic knowledge of terrorism and counterinsurgency, McChrystal was later appointed to fight the War on Terror, by the Bush Administration, and racked up impressive kills in Iraq. It was McChrystal's operation that led to the killing of Iraq's most feared terrorist, Abu Musab Al Zarqawi, and the general's fingerprints were said to be over many other operations.

His counterinsurgency expertise seemingly made him the perfect person to head up the doings in Afghanistan, the fighting of which Obama promised to train his famous laser-like focus on before announcing a withdrawal date to friend and foe alike.

But the article points out that the general’s and his staff, "...a handpicked collection of killers, spies, geniuses, patriots, political operators and outright maniacs", often see their work undone (or at least fucked up on a daily basis) by Obama's pandering diplomatic team, especially U.S. Ambassador Karl Eikenberry, Special Representative to Afghanistan Richard Holbrooke -- labeled "a huge jerk" ini the piece -- and National Security Advisor Jim Jones, who McChrystal labels a "clown".

It's tensions between these two teams -- the military and the diplomatic -- that have led to bombshell leaks in the press (including McChrystal's call for 40,000 more troops in Afghanistan, that some say forced Obama's hand to get him to commit near that number, 30,000, to the fight) and have compromised the mission there.

Others point fingers at McChrystal, saying his eagerness to put Afghan hearts and minds first have endangered U.S. soldiers' lives in country.

McChrystal has since apologized for his words in the article, but nonetheless, a "furious" Obama has summoned the general back to the White House on what's expected to be a one-way-trip for his career.

White House: Obama Golfing Does Americans Good

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs had the day off today, but it's good to see his fill-in, Deputy Secretary Bill Burton shares Gibbs' talent for putting his foot in his mouth.

Here Burton defended President Obama for golfing over the weekend -- weeks after the President vowed he wouldn't rest until the BP oil spill is resolved:

NBC's Brzezinski: I'm "Working With The White House" On Oil Spill Talking Points

This should come as no surprise to anyone, as I'm sure every MSM outlet is playing from the same "file", but only MSNBC's Mika Brezinski would be stupid enough to admit on-air she's been handed a talking points script from the Obama White House regarding its disastrous response to the BP spill:

RealClearPolitics - Video - NBC's Brzezinski: I'm "Working With The White House" On Oil Spill Talking Points

That SUCKS: Red Tape Takes Oil Vacuuming Boats Offline

The red uniforms of the Coast Guard are usually synonymous with helping hands on U.S. waters, but in the Gulf of Mexico, they're emblematic of the red tape of the Obama Administration's disastrous response to the nightmare BP's oil spill.

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, already frustrated with the government's slow response, took it upon himself to order the barges into the Gulf to start sucking up thousands of gallons of the crude that's literally suffocating Louisiana's delicate ecosystem.

But Jindal couldn't override a Coast Guard order to anchor the vessels so officials can check if the boats are well stocked with lifejackets and other gear. Jindal tells ABC News,"You got men on the barges in the oil, and they have been told by the Coast Guard, 'Cease and desist. Stop sucking up that oil.'"

Jindal's requests for the White House to override the Coast Guard orders to allow the boat to resume sucking up the gunk have not been answered. That's not surprising:

Hunt Is On For AWOL Afghanis

The NCIS and the FBI have issued a nationwide ABP for 17 Afghani soldiers who went AWOL from a training program at Lackland Air Force Base in Texas.

The men were undergoing flying and language instruction at the Defense Language Institute, and what's worse, the men all have Department of Defense Common Access Cards. The CAC cards mean the men could potentially enter any secure DOD facility.

Hm, let's see: a bunch of Islamic guys taking flying lessons suddenly drop off the law enforcement radar...Where have I heard this story before?

Indiana Jones And The Vows Of Matrimony

Harrison Ford, the actor who gave life to two of cinema's most memorable heroes, Han Solo and Indiana Jones, has taken the leap. Again.

Ford, 67, has married his girlfriend of eight years, Ally McBeal star Calista Flockhart, 45, at a ceremony held at the Governor's mansion in New Mexico. Their pal Governor Bill Richardson officiated the proceedings, the third marriage for Ford, and Flockhart's first.

Ford has four kids from his previous marriages to Mary Marquardt and E.T. screenwriter Melissa Mathison respectively. Flockhart has an adopted 9-year-old son, Liam.

GOP Ad Comes Out Swinging Against Obama & BP Spill

I don't run straight political ads on this site unless (on the rare occasion) they're actually funny. This one has the GOP using President Obama's own day planner against him regarding his reaction to the BP disaster:



When Carville and Matt Lauer can be used in an anti-Obama spot, there's an oil-filled sea change afoot.

Perez Hilton Facing Kiddie Porn Rap Over Miley Pic

Karma is indeed a bitch. After years of drawing digital spooge on celebrity photographs and posting them with accompanying catty comments to his eponymous showbiz site, Perez Hilton has gotten himself into some serious trouble.

When Hilton -- real name Mario Lavandeira -- posted a pic of an apparently panty-less Miley Cyrus to Twitter -- he apparently didn't give it a second thought. However, posting an up-skirt shot of a 17-year-old is a no-no. A federal pound-you-in-the-ass no-no, to paraphraseOffice Space.

Hilton yanked the photo from his server, but the damage was already done. Los Angeles-based attorney and child porn case expert Jeffrey Douglas told Salon.com, "We're not talking about a misdemeanor. You don't have to know what the definition of the law is, all you have to do is knowingly distribute the photograph." Some reports say Levandeira could face as much as 35 years in jail for the Tweet.

Even if the pic was doctored and didn't represent the Disney teen queen's naughty bits -- as Hilton is only now claiming -- that doesn't absolve him from legal wrongdoing, says Douglas.

My question is, who will be the first to bust a digital nut on Hilton's mug shot?

Even The Left Slagging Obama's Oil Address

When MSNBC anchors Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews take President's Obama to task for last night's speech on the BP oil disaster, you know Obama's got some major problems. 58 days after the explosive oil gusher began dumping hundreds of thousands of barrels of crude into the Gulf of Mexico, Obama gave his first-ever Oval Office address to promise he's putting a plan in place to stop the leak, and made vague calls to arms for America to create more green energy.

Critics saw Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel's motto "never waste a good crisis" in a third of Obama's speech, which talked not about the leak, but towards an energy utopia that will come about from the passage of a massive, economy crippling energy tax plan formerly known as "Cap and Trade" (now changed to the ironic "American Power Act").

“I thought it was a great speech — if you’ve been on another planet for the last 57 days,” said Olbermann, who also said, "I don't think he aimed low, I don't think he aimed at all. It's startling." Chris Matthews -- who has the dual shame of not only writing speeches for then President Jimmy Carter but also for throwing his journalistic credibility out the window over his leg-tingling man-love for Obama -- said he "doesn't sense executive command". Seeing as he worked for Carter, it's safe to say the Hardball host knows such shortcoming when he sees it. (Why and how Matthews was blinded by Obama and didn't sense that before the election is a question for his tingly leg and his therapist to suss out.)

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Public reaction to Obama's response to the disaster is bad and getting worse with every gallon of goop poisoning the Gulf, too. Rasmussen puts his job approval at a new low, 42%,

Public Policy Polling says 50% of Louisiana voters -- including 31% of Democrats polled -- say President Bush did a better job after Hurricane Katrina than Obama is doing in the wake of the worst ecological disaster in American History.

BP Looking Into Kevin Costner's Cleaning Gizmo

Oscar winning actor/director Kevin Costner is looking to clean up the Gulf in the wake of the ongoing BP oil disaster. An invention the actor bankrolled that separates oil from water is getting a closer look from BP execs. Let's face it -- at this point, they've got nothing to lose:



If Costner's device is successful (and used in large numbers), not only could the Gulf be cleaned, but perhaps the public will finally forget about The Postman. Long shots, both.

I TOLD YOU SO! Al Gore Cheated with Laurie David, Says Star Magazine

Star Magazine is reporting what I said the second the Al/Tipper split news happened: Larry David's ex Laurie -- the environmentalist producer of An Inconvenient Truth -- is at the center of it all

I Tweeted two weeks back that it would have been either Laurie David -- who once gushed she loved Gore so much she wished "he could adopt me" -- or her green pal Cheryl Crow who could have led the profiteering prophet astray. Now the celeb mag Star is saying it has proof. “Al and Laurie went from friends to lovers," an insider tells Star. "It couldn’t be avoided."

Laurie and Larry David split in 2007, after 14 years of marriage.

Studios Trying To Snag Peter Jackson For "The Hobbit"

After the exit of co-writer/producer Guillermo del Toro, studios are clamoring for Oscar winner Peter Jackson to fill the director's chair on The Hobbit. Ace Hollywood reporter Nikki Finke says Warner Bros. and New Line are pushing hard for Jackson to take the gig.

Jackson, who brought J.R.R. Tolkien's world of Middle Earth to life in his Oscar winning The Lord of the Rings trilogy, is already co-writing and producing Hobbit, the literary and cinematic prequel to the Rings books/films.

Del Toro worked extensively on the Hobbit project -- and will still be credited as a co-writer and co-producer -- but bagged as a director when he realized how long he'd have to relocate his family to Jackson's native New Zealand, the real-life home of Tolkien's Middle Earth. Jackson's trilogy grossed nearly $3 billion worldwide and earned an armful of Academy Awards, so it's no surprise the suits want him back in the driver's seat.

Nancy Pelosi's New Office Rent: $18K+ A MONTH

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's critics have dubbed her "Queen Nancy" given her abuse of taxpayer money and complete disregard of Americans' wishes, and now she has an office to match the title.

Pelosi's new office costs a queen's ransom of $18,736 a month -- more than a quarter of a million dollars of taxpayer dough a year -- making it the most expensive office of any House member. According to the SFGate.com, the office space is three times the size -- and costs four times the rent -- of her old stomping grounds, which needed to be traded in to better "meet the needs of San Franciscans," said Pelosi spokesman Drew Hammill.

Rolling Stone: Obama Screwing Up, But Oil Spill Is Bush's Fault

I must admit, my heart leapt for a few seconds when I saw Drudge's headline touting a Rolling Stone expose' on President Obama's mishandling of the BP oil disaster: COULD IT BE? The Liberal music mag that breathlessly covered their un-vetted Superman's ascension to power is now turning on him?

My enthusiasm was quickly curbed when reading the headline, however: "The Spill, The Scandal and the President: The inside story of how Obama failed to crack down on the corruption of the Bush years – and let the world's most dangerous oil company get away with murder".

As the first part of the headline suggests, the opening paragraphs do level some pretty wicked burns against Team Obama's response to the spill, this in the days before it became known as the worst ecological disaster in American history. However, writer Tim Dickenson's main point is, no matter what's currently happening, no matter there's the equivalent of 3 Exxon Valdez spills dumping into the Gulf EVERY FIVE DAYS, whatever happens: it was Bush's fault -- oh, and so was 9/11:

"Like the attacks by Al Qaeda," Dickenson writes, "the disaster in the Gulf was preceded by ample warnings – yet the administration had ignored them. "

With the stage safely set that whatever you're about to read is the fault of the "Texas oil men who preceded [Obama] in office", Dickenson lets fly some pretty big haymakers against key Obama players -- that the oil spill was initially estimated to be gushing up to 100,000 barrels of oil a day into the Gulf -- and that the Obama Administration had publicly said just a fraction of that -- 1,000 barrels -- was escaping the pipeline which was smashed after a deadly explosion.

Obama's Interior Secretary Ken Salazar bears most of the brunt of the criticism, as if Rolling Stone's editors can't point their weed-stained fingers completely at Chairman O, except to say his greatest sin wasn't reversing everything that Bush did in while in office.

An Obama critic, however, would have a different view of this disaster, and of Obama's leadership in this crisis. Take this snippet, for example, on Obama's schedule days after the gusher began: "The president himself was occupied elsewhere. After returning from his vacation, Obama spent Monday, April 26th palling around with Derek Jeter and the New York Yankees, congratulating them on their World Series victory. He later took time to chat with the president of Honduras. When he put in a call to Gov. Haley Barbour of Mississippi, it was to talk about tornadoes that had caused damage in that state, with only a brief mention of the oil spill. On Tuesday the 27th, Obama visited a wind-turbine plant in Iowa. Wednesday the 28th, he toured a biofuels refinery in Missouri and talked up financial reform in Quincy, Illinois. He didn't mention the oil spill or the Gulf."

Hmph.

China Stops Banning Baldies

In a policy reversal, China has cancelled a visa restriction on bald Taiwanese visitors, according to AFP. The rule forbade bald folk from applying for one-year multiple-entry permits from Taiwan to the southern Chinese city of Xiamen.

The Taipei-based Liberty Times reports Chinese officials were concerned that using wigs would make it easier for bald people to disguise themselves.

Taiwan won its independence after a civil war with China in 1949, yet the country still considers Taiwan part of its territory. This has led to strained relations, diplomatic tesion, and saber rattling in the past, but tensions have cooled in the last two years.

Selma Hayek: Why Did It Have To Be Snakes?

All celebs hate movie junkets, but now Latina bombshell Selma Hayek has a new reason to loathe them: there might be snakes afoot. The ophidiophobic actress was plugging upcoming Adam Sandler ensemble movie Grown-Ups alongside co-stars Maria Bello and Maya Rudolph when a snake came to take a peek, and all hell broke loose:



Oddly, she was able to keep it together some years ago for this memorable scene in From Dusk Till Dawn, although she admitted it scared the hell out of her:

Last Night's Primaries: Conservative Ladies' Night

Sarah Palin led the conservative ladies' charge last night, during primaries in California, Nevada, and South Carolina.

With her win last night, Carly Fiorina, backed by Palin's endorsement, now has longtime incumbent Barbara Boxer's California Senate seat in her sights.

South Carolina State Rep. Nikki Haley, also backed by Palin, came out on top of a four-way primary for governor, though she needs to win a June 22 run-off.

Former eBay head Meg Whitman won her primary in California, and now she'll be pitted against former state Governor Jerry Brown for that state's Governor's seat.

Both Fiorina and Whitman put their Democratic rivals to shame with stunning business cred (Fiorina the former Chief of HP, Whitman with eBay). It's this business experience -- and the anti-establishment fervor aimed at DC -- that experts say struck a chord with voters in a disastrous economy.

In Nevada, Tea Party favorite, Assemblywoman Sharron Angle rocketed from dead last weeks ago to come out on top of that state's Republican primary. She -- and indeed the whole Tea Party limited government, low-tax agenda -- will do battle with one of the Obama regime's biggest supporters, Democratic Senator Harry Reid, during the Midterm elections in November.

In Arkansas, President Obama's fellow hard-Left comrades at the big labor unions suffered an embarrassing defeat when Democrat Sen. Blanche Lincoln won her hard-fought Democratic primary runoff against Lt. Gov. Bill Halter. Obama backed away from the race, yet former President -- and Arkansas Governor -- Bill Clinton stumped for Lincoln, a key to her victory, according to analysts.

A White House staffer lamented to Politico that organized labor alone flushed "$10 million down the toilet" backing the wrong horse.

Taliban Weaponizing HIV Needles

If you needed further proof of what a bunch of pussies the Taliban are, or why we should throw the Geneva Convention out the window in fighting them, here goes: the terrorists are using dirty needles against our troops in Afghanistan.

According to the UK Sun, not only are the Islamic fanatics creating deadly new shrapnel by packing their bombs with dirty needles found in the heroin rich country, but also burying them near bombs as the Viet Cong did with punji sticks, in hopes explosive disposal teams will be exposed by needle sticks.

Those EOD troops are being issued needle-proof Kevlar gloves, usually used by cops and paramedics to protect themselves from errant hypodermic needles.

Pelosi Heckled By Fellow Leftists

You know the Democrats are in trouble when the far Left kooks who helped the Dems win majorities in the House and Senate -- and helped get President Obama elected -- are flipping out.

While addressing her comrades at the frighteningly-named progressive gathering America's Future today, Pelosi got the business end of a protest from folks including anti-war (and apparently some anti-Israel) activists from Code Pink.

Pelosi's rehash of her "parachute" talking points from the days before Obamacare was jammed through was met with increasingly raucous shouting and protestors allegedly "throwing stuff" according to an aide to the flustered Speaker.



Just as she had with a majority of Americans' vocal opposition to Obamacare, Pelosi did her best to ignore the protestors and continue her talking points as best she could.

Hallmark Caves To Insane NAACP "Racist" Card Claims

The NAACP has successfully ginned up enough faux outrage over a solar system-themed graduation card that Hallmark is pulling it from store shelves. The reason? Some folks think the card's reference to "black holes" actually makes light of "black whores".

This story -- and the fact a graduation card that's three years old is just now getting the group's attention -- is so ludicrous, I had to share it as proof of how doomed we are:



God help us all.

Helen Thomas Retires Over "Jews" Flap

Once again, it took the New Media to slay an Old Media dinosaur. Helen Thomas has retired, amid a whirlwind of criticism of this little ditty:



Within minutes of her well-known pro-Palestinian bias hitting the airwaves, the 89-year-old Hearst journalist -- the longest-sitting Washington Press Corps member -- was spurned by just about every insider who was asked about her. Even the Obama White House called her comments "reprehensible".

The clip was shot on May 27th, but Just a few days after the Thomas clip went viral, it did what the ravages of age, and every president since 1960 has been unable to do: put an end to her career.

Thomas apologized, but the damage was too severe, even in a town where "I misspoke" has become a catchphrase. She was dropped by Nine Speaker -- the agency that books her for big-bucks speaking gigs -- and she was dis-invited as the commencement speaker of the Bethesda, MD high school.

You Need To Be Watching This: "Adventure Time With Finn & Jake"

Occasionally, even I have to step away from the far-too depressing world of sanctioned criminality, lunatics with nuclear weapons, and even bigger lunatics willing to give ours away to others. And yes, even my snark tank runs dry every so often, and needs to be refilled.

Enter Adventure Time With Finn & Jake on Cartoon Network. Created by genius animator Pendleton Ward, the show airs on Monday nights at 9pm ET, and centers on a preteen boy and his talking, shape-shifting pug. If you think that's weird, you haven't seen anything yet, as the show (ostensibly watched by kids) packs more adult laughs in each 2-part, half-hour episode than decades of Saturday Night Live.

As proof of just how absurdly amazing this show is, consider this song. The show's not a musical by any stretch, yet this played out at Finn and Jake looked for a new house, after their treehouse was taken over by a young female vampire:



I bow before its greatness. P Ward: I literally would sharpen pencils at the office to be a part of this show.

McCartney, Celebs Performs For "Not Resting" Obama

He vowed not to rest until the oil stops flooding into The Gulf, yet President Obama took time to take in a private all-star concert feting Paul McCartney last night.

The event brought the former Beatle to the East Room of the White House to receive the Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song.

Stevie Wonder, Jerry Seinfeld, Dave Grohl, the Jonas Brothers, Jack White, Elvis Costello, Faith Hill, Emmylou Harris, Herbie Hancock, and others joined in on the fun, and no doubt brainstorm on how best to staunch the devastating flow of oil into the Gulf.

Obama Pals Ayers, Dohrn, Behind "Terror Flotilla"

President Obama's friends Williams Ayers and Bernadine Dohrn, -- both partners and former comrades in the deadly '60s domestic terror group Weather Underground -- were part of that Gaza flotilla fiasco.

Biggovernment.com reports the pair were joined by another American, Jodie Evans, the founder of Code Pink, the anti-Bush group (can't really say anti-war, because they've been pretty quiet since President Obama kept the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq going).

The three helped organize the Free Gaza Movement, whose six-ship so-called "Peace Flotilla" was intercepted by Israeli forces between Turkey and Israel. Israeli soldiers moved in when repeated calls to search the ships for contraband went deliberately unheeded in order to provoke an incident. The Israeli naval forces were immediately set upon by dozens of extremists -- er -- "peace activists" who clubbed, stabbed, and shot at the boarding party.



When it was all over, nine people were dead, and the usual "blame Israel first" crowd went into overdrive, as Ayers and Co. likely wanted.

Yesterday, Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu, no doubt worried by the anemic support from the Obama Administration, took to the airwaves to defend Israel's actions:

Obama Looks To James Cameron To Save Gulf

Perhaps taking James Cameron's self-crowned "King of the World" title literally, or perhaps not realizing the aliens that saved the sunken oil rig in The Abyss were fictional, President Obama has turned to the filmmaker for help with the BP oil spill.

In the face of stinging -- and support-sapping -- criticism he has no idea what he's doing to stop the worst ecological disaster in American history, Team Obama feels the Oscar winner's experience with robotic submersible devices could help brainstorm a solution.

Cameron operated on the cutting edge of such equipment, having used the remotely-operated-vehicles or ROVs in The Abyss and dove to and shot the Titanic wreck site with them on Ghosts of the Abyss. But is this seriously the best idea the government can come up with? Will McDreamy be tapped upon to help straighten out Obamacare's Gordian knots?

Cameron's involvement comes as news an attempt to use an ROV to slice the broken and still hemorrhaging oil pipe failed mid-way, resulting in even more gushing crude and a stuck circular saw on the robot.

New Trailer: "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World"

Edgar Wright, the director and co-writer of the ingenious Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz is at it again, this time with another cinematic mashup: the comic book-flavored romantic action comedy Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.

It stars improbable action hero Michael Cera as schlub who finds landing the girl of his dreams is a superheroic undertaking.

Al, Tipper Gore Separating

Apparently not even Tipper Gore can stomach global warming's profiteering prophet Al Gore anymore. The pair has announced they will separate after 40 years of marriage. According to an emailed statement sent to AP, the pair parted ways after, "a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration."

Maybe now America can finally forget this image from Gore's failed 2000 presidential campaign, when Gore -- attempting to show he's not a stiff -- inhaled his wife's tonsils against her will.

ACORN Smasher O'Keefe Targets Census Fraud

Most folks basically know the Census Bureau as the government department that counts heads in order to make sure communities across the country are best served by Uncle Sam's services. However, critics say it's currently being used to pad the Obama Administration's employment numbers.

As such, some of the millions of census employees currently soaking up your tax dollars have reported they have been told to waste as much time as possible to extend their gigs, and as such take the some of the sting out of the monthly reports on the devastating unemployment situation under President Obama.

Enter James O'Keefe. The guy who destroyed the vote-cooking community organizing group ACORN by exposing the fraud and criminality routinely perpetrated by Obama's former employer with a series of scandalous hidden camera stings, has set his sights on the 2010 Census. As usual, O'Keefe doesn't disappoint:



O'Keefe recently pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge after another undercover sting -- to expose that Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA) was lying when she told her constituents she couldn't hear their complains over Obamacare because her office phones were malfunctioning. The MSM went bananas after O'Keefe and some associates were arrested at the office, drooling with the prospects of early misreporting that O'Keefe committed a felony by trying to tap Landreiu's phones. Instead, interest in what MSNBC once called "Watergate Jr." quickly fizzled.

O'Keefe was given probation and community service.

Dennis Hopper -- A Look Back

Fans and colleagues alike are still reeling from the loss of legendary actor/director Dennis Hopper. The man who brought '60s counterculture to the mainstream with Easy Rider died late last week of prostate cancer at the age of 74. His career had its ups and downs, as Hopper battled substance abuse and other issues, but to use a showbiz metaphor, he ended on a high note, and logged memorable performances in the last two decades, including roles in Blue Velvet, Speed, and my one of my all time favorite films, True Romance.

In a scene that became the stuff of legends, here Hopper's character schools Christopher Walken's Sicilian mobster in genealogy:



Rest well.